if i knew then what i know now.

i'm feeling less loved today. yes, it's my fault. i should've kept my big mouth shut. i should've learn to suck it in and never fail to understand. But it's already out there, i can't take it back. So i just have to face up to it. I don't think things will ever be the same again. I've let it all out the bag, and now it's killing me. If only i could press some rewind button somewhere and just start from whenever all things were ok again. If only i was less stupid, less neurotic, less passive aggressive...if only. I know i don't deserve forgiveness, not at this time, not soon, but i hope i can look at those eyes again and be home again.