Monday, July 09, 2007

Lost and Found

Last week was a mess of a week. Emotional lows were more poignant, unbearable even. Sad, selfish thoughts ran through my head. In retrospect, I would like to think that I regret even considering it, but I don't. I know I had to go through all that and make my choice. My own choice. I admit it. I almost lost it. Almost.

Yesterday, I had sisig, palabok, and halohalo, all from Razon's. The sky was gloomy, looks like it was about to pour but it did not. It was my kind of weather. I shared the wonderful weather and an equally wonderful meal with beb. Then, because I felt missed and called, beb and I went to mass.

The chapel was overflowing. There we all were, mall goers turned church goers for an hour. We settled on the stone pavement outside the chapel, under gloomy skies. As we stood there among the crowd, while I joined the handful who sung a hymn, I got myself all choked up. Beb held me tight, and, with eyes closed, I said a silent prayer of gratitude.

I give up. I give it all up. Drive me to happiness. Stubborn as I may be, still, You are and will always be my way. I believe.

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