Wednesday, November 30, 2005

it's my party, and i'll cry if i want to...

It's always been the same every year, and this year wasn't any different. Yes, i've seen it coming, so i tried my best to keep it to myself, wear my happy face and keep the waterworks at the minimum, at least when people are around. But when i'm alone, well, that's a different story.

I can't help but have a series of breakdowns around my birthday. I already warned beb the week before that the coming week would be one heck of an emotional rollercoaster, and hoped he'd be along for the ride and just hold my hand throughout. I'm glad he didn't run to the opposite direction cause I had more lows than highs. I was crying half the time without any reason. A simple phone conversation would turn into a shrink session with me playing the loony one. I am not big on birthday parties, mine particularly. Yes, i'd go on somebody else's shindig, but when it my turn to blow my cake, I don't want anybody making a fuss about it. I didn't wanna go out, let alone be reminded that i was turning a year older. It was agreed upon by the two of us that the 29th would be our anniv, not the day i was born in. I just wanted to get it over and done with.

And over it is, finally! Looking back, it was a one crazy year. I managed a store, then i opened up my own. I celebrated a whole year with beb. I lost some weight, then i gained a few more. I acquired a whopping total of 5 pairs of shoes all throughout the year, but enough bags to fill another wall of them hanging. I had trips, dinners, movies, laughs and a few more moments with friends, although not as much as i hoped for. I was happy, and sad, happy again, sad some more. It was a year of growing up... fast. And since my annual drama is over, i can celebrate. Celebrate, not by partying it up, but by living it up and look forward to the year that will be.

Naaah, i wanna par-tey!(",).

postscript: thanks for all those who wonderfully sent their greetings. I'd rather not risk getting the ire of somebody i failed to acknowledge, but you know who you guys are. I very much appreciate those messages. For those who didn't remember, i wouldn't blame you, believe me i understand hehehe (guilty laugh). Love you all to bits.