humming the blues....

i promised myself many times before that i wouldn't let it bother me anymore, but i can't help it... old, unaddressed issues keep bubbling up everytime i heard of this and that happening, but it still remains the same.... old and unaddressed. And i know it's neither their fault nor mine that that remains so, let's just say i have nobody to blame... of course, sometimes, i think that i am to blame but my egotistical evil twin sister thinks otherwise. If i had half a character, i would probably have aired it out a long long time ago, get it over and done with, start from there and move on, but alas, i rather suck it in and hope everything will change. Of course, it never has, but im still hoping...yeah sure, i would have wanted it to seem like i absolutely do not care, that it doesn't hurt a damn bit, that i have better things to do, but i can't help feeling like something in me died, and so it happens everytime old wounds are scratched open again. Somehow, i always find myself involved in vicious cycles, this being one of many. But i can't help it, i'm human, pain doesn't escape me.