freeFalling

First things first

2009-09-26T18:37:00.007+08:00

Epic rain.

That is what people are calling it. Darkness has fallen and still, the rain is unrelenting. I can hear the winds howling outside, threatening to blow my neighbors' iron roofs away. I'm very familiar with floods. I live in an area where we bear floods 365 days in a year, depending on the tides. But this onslaught is ridiculous. Ondoy --- it has a name ---, is giving Manila a heavy beating.

Cars have been abandoned in the impassable streets of the metro. The water continues to rise and would soon, if not already, cover them. The waters are creeping in, if not washing away some folks' houses. People are stranded on their 2nd floors, and those are the lucky ones. I've seen pictures of people on their roofs. On their roofs! In this weather!

I hope everybody I love keeps warm and dry tonight. And my prayers go out to those who are waging a battle outside. These are desperate times. Keep safe, everyone.

***

And, I guess, I'm back. We'll, let's see how it goes.

The hall

2009-04-23T18:03:00.002+08:00

The hall, originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Wouldn't it be nice to always eat breakfast while staring at an jaw dropping seaside view? And it certainly doesn't hurt if it's in a very sosyal resort.

A girl can get used to this.

The Apple and the Tree.

2009-04-21T18:07:00.004+08:00

Any sudden change almost always encounter a certain amount of resistance. When I got bitten by a severe strain of the travel bug almost two years ago, that resistance came in the form of my mother. She would demand one week advance notice of any upcoming trips, and would hound me with texts and calls if I didn't come home on the agreed time. And although I would always spend my money and had never bother asking them for help with my 'vice', I would die of guilt with every trip. I would restraint myself with only a trip a month or once in a couple of months. And by the end of the trip, I would empty out my travel budget --- buying them all the pasalubong I could possibly carry.

Strict ang parents ko... dati.

Of course, with time, things got easier. Lately, I can get away with 'notifying' her a friday-weekender the night before the trip itself. I guess she figured, I'm old enough to make my own choices, I earn my own keep and it was way better than blowing my money on drugs or what-have-you. Now, I can travel as if I was running out of time, and would grab any invitation to a new place, to the next adventure. Just as long as she gets a text of my safe arrival and a new ref magnet after every trip, she willingly lets me scratch that travel bug itch.

I understand the initial defiance on Mama's part. I wasn't exactly the healthiest kid growing up. I was the gangly asthmatic kid who spent an obscene amount of my school life in the clinic getting high on the nebulizer. I think for a while I held the record of most number of absences in a given school year. Obviously, I learned to manage my health better now. I'm aware of my limits, and although I keep pushing it, the inhaler is still my BFF. From time to time, I would get asked what has gotten into me, why the sudden urge to travel non-stop. The answer was always "Just because I can.". This morning, an alternative answer came to me.

On the breakfast table...

Me: Grabe, Ma. Tinitingnan namin sa mapa. Nasa Pacific Ocean na pala kami. Daanan nga daw ng bagyo dun. Bawal pumunta pag masama panahon kasi malakas alon.
Mama: Ikaw, kung san san ka nakakarating.

Pa sits on the chair next to mine...

Pa: Ano yun? Ano yun?
Me: Kinukuwento ko kay Mama kung san kami napunta nung weekend.
Pa: Saan ba?
Me: Sa Calaguas. Sa may Daet.
Pa: Aah, Calaguas Island. Nakarating na ako dun.
Ma: Huh? Kailan?
Pa: Nung binata ako. Nagtripping kami.
Me: Ayun naman pala! Sabi ko na, may pinagmanahan talaga ang pagiging gala ko.

So maybe, it wasn't the travel bug at all. It had to be hereditary. It's the travel gene.

Hah! Excuses! :P

Lead the way

2009-04-20T20:46:00.002+08:00

Lead the way, originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Midway through our spontaneous roadtrip, we found ourselves in the middle of a busy rotunda. It was a hot and humid sunday noon. The policeman escaped into the shade under the town gazebo, in the company of a newspaper vendor and a napping street cleaner. I looked up and saw this peculiar structure, displaying the wrong time, seemingly misplaced. In a quiet town in the middle of Cebu, famous for their tasteful and sinful pork rinds, the two marbled ladies of Carcar certainly feels out of context. But for five wandering travelers looking for the next stopover, it was a promising sight. At that moment, we need someone to point the way.

Say a little prayer.

2009-04-16T13:23:00.002+08:00

Say a little prayer., originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Never burden your heart with unnecessary problems. Life's too short to warrant that. Of course, there will be moments where even the gratuitous can feel drowning. It doesn't hurt to close your eyes and drop to your knees. The heart's little whispers echo in the halls of heaven. Surrender. Believe.

Laying Low.

2009-04-15T14:52:00.002+08:00

I'm not a mind reader.
But I can read codes.

Of all the people, I'd never thought you'd be the one to break my heart.

But I want one!

2009-04-14T19:29:00.002+08:00

This morning, in another episode of my-so-called-life...

Me: Beb, I think I left my gym keys in your car. Could you please check?
Beb: Ok, wait. I'm at the office. I'll call the house.

A few minutes later...

Beb: It's there. Manang has it already. When do you need it?
Me: Great great. I'm at the gym already. I'll just pick it up after my yoga class.
Beb: Ok. Good. 'Cause I have something at home that I was supposed to give you yesterday, too. I'll have manang give it you with your keys.
Me: Oooh... what is it?
Beb: it's a surprise. I think you'll like it.

...Me: Yey! You finally got me a baby elephant!!!

Beb: Uhmm, no. That's expensive, and a little too big.
Me: Aww shucks. Dang it!

Jump In

2009-04-14T18:47:00.004+08:00

Jump In, originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Manila is just too hot for words.
I wish I have this in our backyard.

***

This is one of the smaller falls of Kawasan, found in Badian, Southern Cebu. My gorgeous friend Eden has gone over the place so many times, and has trekked further than our group on this trip did. I think last time she counted, there are at least 9 falls here.

Next time I visit, I'm going canyoneering. Mark it.

On their knees.

2009-04-10T18:58:00.002+08:00

On their knees., originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Just because you don't see it, it doesn't mean it's not there. Ardent trust transcends cloaks and veils or even blind eyes. Sometimes, you need to take it on faith. Sometimes, you just have to believe.

Argao's Pride

2009-04-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

Argao's Pride, originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

Located across the well-preserved town hall, Argao Parish church has endured 241 years of existence. Its formidable exteriors is reminiscent of the old churches built during the time of Spanish rule: stone wall, imposing, baroque rococo inspired. It was constructed in 1734, and it took the Augustinian order 34 years of painstaking labor to finish this impressive structure.

It was a quiet Sunday when we arrived at Argao's town center. The men and women of Argao --- the Argawanons --- gather towards their church for the afternoon service. And as the church bells ring, just like every Sunday, the community in unison will say their thanks to God, promise their devotion to our Lady and ask for continuous guidance for the town's patron saint, St. Michael the Archangel.

A date with my girl.

2009-04-08T16:47:00.002+08:00

There are only a handful of people in this world I could spill my guts on to without apprehensions. I would tell them animatedly the nasty details of my sordid story, not skipping a beat. I trust them with every blackmail material anyone could ever hold against me because they are tried and tested secret keepers. But most importantly, I would hold nothing back because I know they would always be there to listen, without reservations, more so without an ounce of judgment.

And it was like that last night. It was with one of my favorite persons that I rehashed an old tale we've gone over a million times before --- over ym, over the phone, over miles of ocean and land apart --- but this time, we did it over pizza, cannelloni and roast chicken. I couldn't care less for the ones in the tables next to ours, who probably overheard the dirty particulars of my stale story. Amici was overflowing with families and friends, conversing over familiar italian food, but for me, last night, it was just her and me.

We walked the length of the road to reach the cake place she wanted to revisit. We could have flagged down a cab --- it was a busy major thoroughfare and I am not known for the crossing-the-street skills --- but we were 2 small girls who might have eaten for a family of five. A short 10 minutes after and we reached Fleur de Lys. The walking made enough room for tea, chiffon cake and apple pie.

I probably did all the talking last night. I had questions, of course, but I guess there's time for that. I, also, am not known to ask. If they need me to know, they'd tell. And, as always, I would be there to listen, and like an unspoken oath between cherished old friends, it would be without reservations, without judgment.

I am just glad she's here.

Shine on me.

2009-04-08T11:51:00.003+08:00

Shine on me., originally uploaded by ♥Lallie♥.

I've taken a liking (a friend called it an addiction. (",) ) to HDRs lately. Much more so to indoor HDRs. And when I saw this well-preserved treasure in Argao, I had to drop my things right then and there and shoot.

This spacious living area sits on the top floor of Argao's town hall. The stairs leading up to it is crooked and wobbly and cries with every step, Probably standing since the Spanish era, the wooden columns and beams' muted green paint is cracked and chipping in every spot; some even looking naked and bare. It sure has aged, but age gracefully, it did.

The hall was wide, airy and was filled with light. It was sparsely decorated --- a few wooden pieces to sit on on both sides --- which I think is a beautiful thing, because if there is one thing that stands out in this room, it is its wooden floors.

The way that light hit the floor will forever be the reason why I will eternally be hooked on (indoor) HDRs.

Not dead...yet.

2009-04-07T23:44:00.004+08:00

... And we're up.

So, I missed a year and a half worth of blogging.
Not that the year and a half that's been left unblogged is not worth posting.

Believe me, it was amazing.

I guess I just miss writing.
So let's play catch shall we? (",)

Irreplaceable.

2007-11-07T10:05:00.000+08:00

Tatang Isko gave me quite a scare last night. My four year old laptop failed to start and threatened to finally flatline for 30 minutes. There I was staring on a blank screen, not worried about the business documents, or the stored pictures, or even my hard-to-find music.

Damnit. My ym archives! :$

Forever

2007-10-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

The quaint little chapel doors open, giving way to her, in her most beautiful moment. Donned in white, she gracefully glides down the aisle, along their song, bringing warmth to the misty sunday afternoon. Her parents met her midway, both struggling to hold back tears, both heartwarmingly failing miserably. At the last moment, the father tightly held on to the bride, probably wishing he wouldn't have to let go. With water welling in his eyes, he entrusted his only girl, forever his little girl, to the man patiently waiting at the end of the altar. She's now a beautiful young woman, the beautiful bride, who in the midst of families and friends, most especially before God pledges her love and life to his groom. Her forever, entwined with his.

This is why I love weddings.

Dennis Morante - Missy Peralejo Wedding
October 28, 2007
Madre de Dios Chapel, at the Midlands
Tagaytay Highlands

Pants on fire.

2007-10-10T19:46:00.000+08:00

Nagpapaka-girl: Aminin mo na kasi. There's no use denying it. Mahal mo na.
Nagpapaka-boy: P*#&$@ ina naman eh. Don't say bad words.

;P

Lust fart 2007

2007-10-09T17:29:00.000+08:00

Because this worked like a charm last year, and I know I've been somewhat of a good girl the past year (walang kokontra (",) ) I'm calling on all the powers of the universe to grant me this...

Because Tatang Isko, my jurassic laptop, will soon begin its inevitable journey to computer heaven, I need a replacement. It's a Macbook 2.16 ghz, with 1gb RAM, 120 gb hd, a superdrive, Isight and Ilife '08, and hopefully armed with the about to be released Leopard OS. But if it drops into my loving, very welcoming arms even before Steve Jobs gives his go on the new OS, I'll settle for the Tiger. Yes, universe, I'm cutting you some slack *winkwink*

And yeah, she already has a name. My new baby (yesss, with conviction) would be called Jenny, after The Click Five's song. It's been my LSS for the last week. The lyrics are so, for lack of a better term, nananadya. Needless to say, it got me hooked. Or more like, affected(?). Plus, Jenny's a cute simple "unassuming" name. Besides, calling it ***** is just too obvious. Nyehehe.

And since we're on the subject of I-want, universe, if you are to be so kind, and I know you will be, as always, to me, I also want this...

A Nikkor 18-200mm vr lens. Isn't it delicious? Comes with a very delicious price tag too. Niko's excited. Me, too, of course.

And like last year, my wants come in threes. But then, unlike the first two, I'm a little hesitant to ask for the third. Maybe because I still don't know what I'd do if my third wish follows through. And, honestly, I am too damn scared to ask. The universe has never failed me before. And if the universe come up with its end of the bargain this time, I seriously don't know if I could hold up to mine. I might be too shock-ridden and instantly drop dead. I know I want it bad --- I have it bad, and asking for it is (say it with me) bad. (Audience: Soooo bad, it's good? Hahaha. Sorry, inside joke.) Oh well, as they say, be careful what you wish for, they might just come true.

Pahtey on in Pinas.

2007-09-11T11:36:00.000+08:00

In the middle of sacreligious sunday texting with friends, I got this message from Just:

"Ngayon lang nagsink-in saken... NAGBDAY AKO SA PILIPINAS! Thanks everyone for celebrating your friday night with me. Glad to be home with my special, special friends! Showbiz! :)"

And celebrate it, we did. Mae and Techie did a wonderful number on the Guevarra's driveway, courtesy of Anding's. Very fiesta-mode with matching not-so-chinese psychedelic lanterns. And the christmas lights made my shutter happy finger very itchy. I love great lighting! Hence, a lot of Kodak, well Niko's moment.

Equally festive was the food. Just's mom really made sure we were fed til we give up. And since Jose couldn't be found, we all had to settle for SanMig Lights and Grape-flavored Absolut Vodka. DIY mixes ito. And of course, Issi was there, nagdala pangdamay. The more, the smokier, the merrier.

Frothy. Yum.

Taob.

Dumadami na.

And the girls partied up, this time with a relatively impressive showing. Even Doctora Madz, who apparently was MIA for, count that, 6 years, came. Kumusta? Kung may anak ako, mag Grade 1 na sya, hindi pa nya kilala si Doctora. But still, she never changed a bit. Riot pa rin, and so was the rest of us.

Ivy. A Love Story. Classic!

May sweetness nangyayari dito. Ahlavit!

Happy birthday just! Masaya rin ang Pinas dito ka nag bday. Lalo na kami!

One, two, three, Cheers!

One Big Luck.

2007-09-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

Who got seriously lucky yesterday, snatching up two premium Upper A tickets three hours before the hottest game in town? And yeah, did I say they were totally free?

That's right. Beb and I are damn lucky. The secret na ito.

It was one happy surprise. We were fine with watching the game in the television that afternoon, knowing the tickets are jacked up expensive and hard to come by. But during lunch with the Peralejos at Jr's Tita Mary Ann's place, his other aunt, Tita Gigi, casually asked if we wanted to watch it live because two of her tickets just freed up. Kumusta naman? Pinakain ka na, may libre pang tickets. I love Beb's family.

We were so unprepared that Beb needed to go back to his place to change his striped green and blue shirt. Pwede na, may pagkabalimbing nga lang. His mom had to beg him to change in fear of Jr, who's 5'11, being mobbed. I, on the other hand, had to get changed in Starbucks with the game day shirt Beb bought for me there in Araneta. School pride. Ahlavit.

Blue Eagles' sixth man.

Was the 300 peso shirt worth it? Hell yeah. The game was so close. Ang tagal tinawag ng final score grabe. The game can turn your nerves into ooze. But more than the players on the floor, as always, school spirit from both sides were on a high. One thing about ateneo-lasalle games is when you watch them live, you can actually watch the game with your eyes closed. You can tell what's happening just by from the cheers from the gallery. And it was crazy. Pang finals talaga ang dating. I was standing the whole game through. I screamed my lungs out for the entire time. I think today's lack of voice proves the point. Am so proud to be a part of Blue Eagles' sixth man. Sabi nga ng shirt ko, I bleed blue.

Sige na nga sa camera phone na lang. Damn, I miss Niko. Still, happiness!

Talk about lucky. Free lunch. Free tickets. Free shirt from Beb. And a nail-biting win from the boys from Katipunan. Panalo!

Derailed.

2007-09-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

You have to be a very big Veronica Mars nut to catch my drift. Here goes today's moment of zen.

Mac: So, Pizneyland is the happiest place on Earth?
Veronica: Happy enough. There's no rollercoaster, but I think I can do without the adrenaline and nausea.

Washed Out.

2007-09-04T13:01:00.000+08:00

Ten hours of not-so-comfortable sleep on a bus to somewhere up extreme north, three stopovers and a snoring, personal-space offending busmate and finally we arrived.

Eto ang probinsya. I don't know if the bus ride jogged my brain or because it's just too damn far that I kept thinking, "Tatanggapin ba yung pera natin dito?" only to catch myself and think, wait, Pilipinas pa rin kaya to. The town was charming. The rolling hills was enveloped by the endless mountain range and the occasional "Wow" escapes my mouth. I knew I was in for a very spectacular adventure. Looking back, "spectacular" is not going to even cut it.

After settling down our things at our lovely appointed room at Davidson hotel, which i fell in love with, by the way, we had our tapsi breakfast only to find out we have a good 10 minutes to prepare for what we came here for. The good 10 mintes lapsed and we found ourselves in a jeep loaded full of men, equipment, and more excited warm bodies headed to Chico River. After 2 and a half more hours on our behind, not to mention the 100 meter dash we had to do midway because the road eroded the day before (scary), and we're here. Upwhere Pasil and Chico River meets is where the real adventure begins. Class III Rapids? For three girls who's upper body strength was only reserved enough to lift those tequila shots, we sure are crazy to just decide on this trip the day before. But I guess there's no turning back now. Yeah, right, like we're really gonna turn back. Sakitan pala ng katawan ha? Bring it on.

Ok, here comes the million peso question: Bakit Chico River tawag sa kanya?

a. Dahil kulay Chico sya. (apparently not. It rained the day before. The soil eroded from the highlands hence the muddy color. Otherwise it would be a beautiful clear blue river. But still, given the all the browness, it still is beautiful.)
b. Dahil pag natikman mo sya, lasang Chico sya. (River. Tubig tabang. Walang lasa. Take it from me. Hahaha)
c. Dahil para syang Chico, maaligasgas/ sandy. (No. It's not. Believe me nga eh.)
d. Dahil mga amoy Chico (i.e. lasing) lang ang magtatangkang magpatihulog dito. (We're completely sober. Promise. Can't believe it myself.)

Got thrown off the raft twice. First time at Cheche's flip, named after Cheche Lazaro who also fell off that same rapid, second when our whole raft almost flipped and everybody but one got thrown off. Apperently, the rubber boat we're on, "Kalinga", was the river's "favorite", being the most veteran one among all of them rafts. Ay happening ang boat namin talaga.

Not having enough of it, along the part we're the current we're flowing strong without the rapids, we just jumped. In all those times I was stubborn enough to swim against the current, figuratively, there's something poetic about literally just going with the flow. So this is how it is to succumb to nature. Ang sarap. Parang langit.

The escapade ended with a buffet of brown rice, roast native chicken, fried eggplant, shrimp okoy and mixed veg in egg soup. If they had told us about the feast earlier, we would have seriously paddled harder.

Typical provincial calmness met us throughout the night. Nagpaiwan si Jose, but Issi made it for the roadtrip. More cherry and mint hookah, an ipod party, tons of laughter, and we were off to bed. Thank God we're sober coz we're Tugueguarao bound in the morning for an am bus trip back to manila. (which incidentally had its driver and conductor talking for 12 straight hours. Seriously, no awkward silence between those guys. Katorze to the next level. ).

Two days after, tons of self medicating and I still find myself sore in all the wrong places. Ang hindi kaya ng puso, idaan sa sakit ng katawan. Yun yawn.

Quickie PG

2007-08-20T12:23:00.000+08:00

Liempo feast, Room service-d. Nap til sunset. The beach. Strong pounding waves. Watermelon, cherry and mint hookah in the room. Later still, Hookah and Tequila at the beach. Four shooting stars. Salt and Limes. Boys, bitches, work, not working, life. Dolphin sightings. A lil indiscretion on the beach, a lil rise on our blood alcohol level. Great company. Quickie trip, but well worth it. Ahhh, the life.

Bi polar (panda) bear.

2007-08-10T12:13:00.000+08:00

O pagkatapos ng emo, pangkilig naman.

Manic kung manic.

Press play!

Sweetness right? Straight from HK yan. When we were shopping inside the Giordano stores there, (and there were a lot of them. Parang mini-stop lang ata ang Giordano dun) this record was played in every store. So the audiophile in me got riled up. Got these from imeem. Too bad, no downloads allowed. Somebody, please share. Or better yet, buy me the cd. I'll pay. Or consider it a birthday gift. Pre-gift gift. (Potek! uso hahaha) Good find. Ay no. Great find.

O here's another one, cuteness...

I love TP!

2007-08-09T15:40:00.000+08:00

I am a happy fan!!!

So I've been addicted to Tristan Prettyman's music since I've first laid ears on "The Kiss" some time ago. It's practically my personal national anthem. Now, I've sing any of her songs by heart. Yes, even her cover of Britney Spears' Toxic. I've never appreciated Toxic ever, not since I heard TP (naks, TP! close haha) covered it. May sense pala yung kanta, minus the gyrating Britney in crystal-studded body suit. Akalain mo.

So, being a fan, I'm a frequent visitor of her myspace site. If I have a blinking online icon in Myspace, most probably I'm there to look at her site. You could imagine my delight when I read that she's gonna be in Singapore later this year. I swear, my heart skipped a beat. Then it beat twice faster. Palpitations ito.

So i decided to write her, to ask for her SG tour dates. Ay nagpaka-fan talaga ako. I did not even try to hide it. I love her music. I love her. And I let her know how awesome she is and that she's one of my goddess. Ay ganung level talaga.

And you could just imagine how my heart wanted to leap out of my chest when I saw this on gmail.

I was so excited to read it. May nginig factor pa yung daliri ko.

Too bad, I was late by several months. Pero hopefully, she'll come by near here for her new record. I am so excited. As long as there's a budget carrier flying to wherever she is here within South East Asia, literally through hell and high waters, I will fly. In a heartbeat.

You get one shot in life.

2007-08-08T15:06:00.000+08:00

There are things we should do more of in life...

Travel.
Hk '07.

Macau '07

Take more plane rides.

HKIA.

Take more boat rides.

Take more train ridesHappiest train on earth.

And any exhilirating rides in between.

Appreciate God's other creatures.
Pang national geographic.

Especially the cute ones.
Sarap maging panda.

Take humor in signs. Follow them.
Motto in life. hehe.

Or disregard them altogether.
Or follow your heart?...

Take more pictures....of yourself.

Eat.
Tikoy na tikoy.

Be a kid once in a while.

Make a fool out of yourself.

Conjure more fantasies.
Paul McCartney, Marry me.

Daydream.
Freefalldrifter.
Malayo ang tingin, wala namang tinatanaw. Hehe.

Fall in love.Ay talaga namang ito ang sa fall in love eh. hahaha.

Test your limits.

Challenge yourself.

Then, just let go. Just jump.

Win, no matter what. No regrets.

Papa's girl

2007-08-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

Mark, Es-em and I were in the car on our way to church. Es-em, Kulet to me, started talking.

Kulet: Ate, may ikikwento ako sayo
Me: Ano yun?
Kulet: Nung isang araw, nung wala ka, nagpunta kaming San La, eh bumili si mama ng magazine sa booksale. So dumaan kami dun. Mayamaya humihingi ng pera si papa.
Me: Sabi ko kay mama lagyan nya ng pera yung wallet ni papa para hindi nya kailangan manghingi. Aanhin nya daw yung pera?
Kulet: Bibili daw syang Archie comics. Iuuwi nya daw sayo. Gusto mo daw kasi yun.

He still have days like that. Eversince he had his stroke, he still have days when he lives in the past. I last held an Archie comic book, a childhood addiction, when I was 12. Twelve years later, I find two thin back-issue Archie digest magazines, tucked inside my work bag, the one he knows I take to the office.

I'm crying a river right now. I couldn't ask for more.

Champorado Anyone?

2007-07-30T13:26:00.000+08:00

Auntie Baby wanted the family for breakfast on her 51st birthday celebration, so we headed to Max's Roxas Boulevard sunday morning. When the lady host inquired how many of us were dining in, the shock became obvious in her face when some 60+ odd persons came in and everybody wanted champorado. I wonder how low would her jaw drop if she knew the clan wasn't even complete yet.

Ate Che, me, Ouie, Kulet, waiting to be seated

Lahat kamag anak ko yan, except yung waiter.

Nakikifamily si beb. Hahaha.

Anyhow, we got the last nine servings, and an assortment of their breakfast meals. My cousins, the brusko ones, had crispy pata, kare kare and Max's fried chicken. Growing boys daw sila. Kumusta naman di ba?

Kuya On, papa, Tito Wawa, waiting for crispy pata

O i pipimp ko na mga pinsan kong gwapo. Any takers?

Our family's getting bigger by the minute. There are babies everywhere and we have another two on the way. Ok lang, basta dumami ang magaganda at gwapo sa mundo, I have no qualms about it, especially if they're related to me. Hehehe.

Ninang Dra. Beth, with Maddox

Pa demure yung tawa ni Ikay.

Sam

ReinMacy, shy type.

The little girls.

Happy birthday, Auntie. Thanks for keeping us together. Thanks for everything else too. I love you.

Kulang na kami, daming nag eat and run hahaha.

More pics here.

Ayie's favorite subject

2007-07-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

Ok, tell me, wouldn't you want one if they are as cute as these girls?

Sam, my showbiz niece

Rein, little Snow White

I could just eat them up! Soooo cute!

Girls from the (eco) block.

2007-07-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

One of the few reasons why Ateneo will always occupy a place in my heart is because of the people I met there. Being a member of the eco/meco club in DS, my former department opened doors of friendship for me worth treasuring even years after stepping foot in my dear ol' Alma Mater. My eco girls were never really party people then, which is probably why I got along with them. Fun for us was waiting in the SEC C benches for pao tsin to open to have our very early morning siomai breakfast, or Shakey's brunch for long breaks or hanging out in front of Escaler while waiting for Math class, even tambay at Ann's place at Burgundy when there's nothing else to do. Of course, there were the occasional group cut of Tito Ciel's class in favor of the mall, but every clique did that in Ateneo. It's practically tradition.

Three years and some odd months after graduation in Ateneo, and here we are a little older, a little wiser, and hell of a lot prettier. I've met up with two of my college crew from my Eco block, and I have never been happier to see them. There was Erlene, my sister from another mother. You know when some people say, the most genuine kind of friendships is when you're both comfortable even in silence. Every time I hear that, this girl from Tiaong always comes to mind. My taga-ampon when my sundo runs late, I can't imagine how I'd go through my first couple of years in ADMU without meeting her. Good thing that after spending a while in Illinois, she decided to go back home and study here. Seeing her again is long overdue.

Soulmate kong si Erlene.

And of course Ces. The girl who could charm his way to every man's heart. Idol talaga. The girl who had the most drama in her college life. Orsem pa lang, panalo na. Ces, too, was very much a konsintidor in my obses...err, harmless admiration. Ces always tried to get me an intro with uhmm... him, but for some reason, I always disappear. Oh well. Unlike Erlene who I haven't seen in forever, Ces and I always bump into each other in Makati, she from work, me from retail therapy. Now a hot mom of a little girl named Halo, but not really looking like it, well, the mom part. She still is hot.

Ces, hot momma

It was a fun night. Dinner at Banana Leaf, with Beb as our official photographer. The paparazzi left us for Timezone when we had our drinks at Masas, and as the Mango Mandarin flowed, so did the stories. Si Ces walang ka kupas kupas. Technically mine was a very old but still very alive issue. Tama si Ces, uso sya. Uso kami. So Erlene, makiuso ka na.

Erlene, at ang mga B.I. Hehehe.

After, we decided to burn the alcohol in our bodies with some dancing at Temple. Yes, Temple. I haven't been in Temple since Tricia's debut. But since I was in good company, I just turned a blind eye to everything that is happening around me and just had body grinding fun with a couple of ol' friends.

Hammered. Masarap ang Mango Mandarin.

Great night altogether. Wishing for more nights like that. No matter what other's say, some people, like us, just don't change. Still love them to bits.

PR 101

2007-07-21T09:59:00.000+08:00

I really admire people who could small talk their way to new relationships with total strangers. I've met a few of these very ma "PR" people and if I could only bottle that skill and horde up, I will. Beb, particularly, can charm his way to everything, oftentimes creating some form of respect with whoever he's having a conversation with in a drop of a hat. Mr. Popularity here assures me that I have very passable people skills, but I still have my doubts. Hey, it's been said that I initially give this taray air off first impressions. But I can assure everybody, I am nice. Once you get over the chinky eyes and the hair, I am super nice.

With that said, I always dread meeting new people. I usually feel like I'm a fish out of water. I get uncomfortable and very wary if I'm giving off fake smile (the ones when you show your teeth but the sides of your eyes don't crinkle). But once I get off the initial hump, meet a person in the crowd I could actually get along with, I'm set. Just like friday's send off party.

Osh, one of beb's friends, is off to Houston for flight school. He had his despedida at their home in Katipunan, and it seems like the whole gang were there. I've met the guys before, also having shared a few hot air balloon festivals with them. But there were a lot of new people, and I started being antsy.

To Osh

Good thing everybody was warm and tolerant, and I never knew you could have that much fun with a bunch of practically strangers. Without booze at that.

Yariboy aka "Boy Motmot"

Kaka, Yari "chick magnet", Sheena

All we had were two dozen 1.5 litre bottles of Coca Cola products, Winston light, Marlboro lights and white flower. Not to mention stories of brain freeze, the Harry Potter Vigil, rockstars, "for showbiz" guys. And it was a complete laugh trip.

Osh, with the Harry Potpot girls, Jen and Kaka

the rockstar and the pogi

Beb bumabangka, with Pete and Osh

Everybody went home at well past 1 am since Osh needs to head off for his 4 am flight. Once in the car, with Beb knowing my apprehensions with new people, I asked him how I did with his friends. Beb, dead tired, said, "Actually 10 pm pa lang gusto ko ng umuwi. Mas nag enjoy ka pa kaysa sa akin". Who would've thunk it?

Indecision 2007.

2007-07-18T16:24:00.000+08:00

Somewhere in my archives, I've already declared my obliviousness to signs. It's not that I don't believe in them, it's just that I wouldn't recognize the sign even if it bonks me in the head.

Literally.

In the middle of a lazy day, I decided to channel my pent up frustration in arranging my very messed up closet. Like I have always done a million times, I open the door casually. Only this time, without doing anything else, the whole panel got unhinged and the plank's corner hit me squarely on the browbone. The screw got cut in half and the whole thing smacked my head. Next thing I knew, blood was dripping from the gash to my eyes. It was painful, but the pain didn't keep my from laughing my ass off. Inappropriate reactions to klutzy situations seems to come by more often lately.

Later, while getting my hair cut at the salon with Tessa and Mae, I shared my little misadventure, to which Mae said, "It's a sign, Lal. Starts with the letter "k"."

And all I can say was, "Kaya hindi na nga nagreklamo. Natawa na lang ako at tinanggap ko na lang. Bring it on."

Look at me. I am actually willing get bruised and broken to keep this thing going, when in the end, i know it'll never be worth it. I don't even know what it's worth in the first place.

When it comes down to this thing, I seriously don't know what I want.

Sweetest of debts. Haaayy.

2007-07-15T14:49:00.000+08:00

It's saturday, and I'm feeling a shift in the wind. A little footsie story told later on in the afternoon confirms the vibes. Yes, the wheels are turning, and the ring is officially on the move.

So what do I do when I'm not sure where things are going and the little control freak in me is about to go nuts? Yup, it's time to get a haircut.

A little shampoo, a few inches off, and three happy clients later and here we are. Primp and ready to go about town.

Birthday rin natin?

Another Harry Potter movie for me, a big helping of long-missed Bacon Mushroom Melt and a ginormous cup of Iced tea lite and we're off to Unplugged. Acoustic Jive, sing our pain. Waaahhh.

We're just in time for the first set, and took our usual table just off the stage. They played three great sets, almost sang the whole of second for us. Actually for yeng, especially this one. Bet you can't find a more fitting song. Swak na swak.

... Sacrifice if you care
Buy her some moonlight to wear
If there's one more star she wants
Go all the way...

(Actually may verse na mas swak, pero, baka may makabasa. Eto na lang medyo safe at harmless. hahaha)

By the way, you know you're regulars when...
... the waiters give you a very knowing smile, as if to say, eto na naman sila, patay na naman ako.
... you know when they've got new sponsors. There weren't coasters then. Bago?
... you notice when they seem to be running out of glassware because all the empty ones are still on your table.
... the vocalist deliberately make hirits like " May birthday sa inyo? Mamaya na kayo. Hanggang alas quatro pa kayo dito eh" at your group.
... and "ngayon lang kitang nakitang lasing. Mula nung 17 pa lang kayo nandito na kayo."
... and they seem to note down your group's lovelife, saying "ah kayo rin pala nagkatuluyan. Nagsasasama ka rin pala dito sa barkada nya. Good luck."

WHY? But we're so much fun. Hahaha. See the pics.

Birthday pa rin ni Yeng!

Para kay Ming

Yeng and Dale. Umayos kayo . Hehehe.

Couple alert ulit.

Uwian na nandito pa rin tayo. Last shot!

Friday madness

2007-07-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

"Wala na. Wala ng kalasan ang Friday group."

- Ate Cathy

My friday was spent with, well... my friday group. It's when my cousins and I go out, pig out and go wherever our aunt feels like going. We aren't really complaining. It's crazy fun. Did I mention it's free too?

Last time, it was an afternoon of massages at the spa, a big, supersized meal at Chili's and Zirkoh afterwards. This friday was filled with Wham burgers and fries during the latest Harry Potter movie, Aristocrat's sinigang (baka, baboy and bangus, I'm not kidding) and Punchline, due to insistent ~~public~~ Aunt's demand.

Here's a rundown of the people I share my friday nights with.

1. Auntie Baby - generous and loving aunt, who spoils us with food, then sends us to gym after.
2. Ate Be - cousins/pseudo-aunt, the only other "adult" in the group.
3. Dra. Beth - became my ninang when she was 12 (I was her first godchild, and I still get gifts from her, even at 24), single, and hell-bent on staying that way.
4. Ate Cathy - banker by day, party goer by night.
5. Ate Pen - cool, calm, collected cousin. Also known to be taray queen when pregnant, which, incidentally she is now.
6. Kuya Perry - Ate Pen's impregnator, err, hubby. Computer geek/rocker.
7. Crystal - youngest among the group, keeper of my secrets, could use to keep a straight face and stop nudging me while the gays are singing "bakit ngayon ka lang". Kung di lang kita mahal, nasakal na kita. Hahaha.
8. Kuya On - life of the pahtey. And since he drinks, it means I can drink too. Mabuhay ka kuya.
9. Me
10. Beb - Nakikifamily. Joke. Actually, feeling ko, mas mahal sya ng pamilya ko kaysa sa akin. Hahaha.

I love them. I love it. Something to look forward to every time.

Kuya On, Ate Pen, Kuya Perry, Moi, Auntie Baby

Kuya On, Intruder of the month. Crystal, Ate Cathy, Moi.

Sablay's moment.

2007-07-13T10:27:00.000+08:00

A week of "sablut" texting and planning finally paid off. We got her. Yeng looked like he was about to kill Dale when she opened the door with a room full of balloons and friends. She was genuinely surprised.

Ano ba yan, patagilid? Sablay talaga.

After the celebrant's shock wore off, the very hungry party people feasted at Serye. But not before a few Kodak moments. And because Yeng had freakish bruising (hehe) from a post ortho procedure, we worked out the poses.

Shyet, sino yang nasa gitna? Di ko kamukha.

Of course, the party planning had it's share of sablay moments. There were the cocktail-inspired cupcakes who nearly went home with someone named "Tessa Rodriguez". It's either the one who took the order had bad hearing loss, or this is a sign of things to come. Ok, everyone, look at out for some guy who's a Rodriguez. Panalo yung cupcakes if ever. Not only is it yummy, turns out it might even be prophetic. Good luck Tech.

Cuptails! Cake and booze in One!

How many of these can we eat til we get tipsy?

One, two, three... Cheers!

And then, there were the balloons who nearly drove/flew/popped away. The delivery guy got tired of making "lakad-lakad" around eastwood and almost took our balloons home. What he's going to do with half-paid for balloons, I don't know. Good thing a little charm went a long way.

Awww! Pink and green! Bubblegummy!

Take One.

Take Two.Finally.

Dale has got a lot of reading to do that night. Don't worry , Yeng. It's all extremely censored. Your secrets are still safe with us.

Well, not all of them. It's your birthday, after all. Bida ka! Hehehe.

Yeng, sige i-explain mo to

There you go, Yeng. Yesss! Production number! Told you it was going to be a great day. So as my controversial therefore sabotaged balloon message would say...

Happy Birthday
Random text girl!
Umayos ka!

Leng

On Loop.

2007-07-10T10:32:00.000+08:00

Whenever I ask myself why I allow myself to be in the same damn crazy situation, I tinker with my podpie and take a hit of my most played song. Then, I'm on a high, ready to take another stab at this insane game. It only takes a little to make me happy. This song sends me to bliss.

This afternoon, I let go and found myself swept in a river of a very precious memory. The strong undeniable current carried me somewhere I have long wanted to go, but never before dared to seek. Irrational as it may sound, I do not intend to be a familiar visitor. I'm afraid that my heart might suffer and die from too much elation. Yes, this is a happy day.

Actually, it's so happy it ended in comedy. Fitting.

Lost and Found

2007-07-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

Last week was a mess of a week. Emotional lows were more poignant, unbearable even. Sad, selfish thoughts ran through my head. In retrospect, I would like to think that I regret even considering it, but I don't. I know I had to go through all that and make my choice. My own choice. I admit it. I almost lost it. Almost.

Yesterday, I had sisig, palabok, and halohalo, all from Razon's. The sky was gloomy, looks like it was about to pour but it did not. It was my kind of weather. I shared the wonderful weather and an equally wonderful meal with beb. Then, because I felt missed and called, beb and I went to mass.

The chapel was overflowing. There we all were, mall goers turned church goers for an hour. We settled on the stone pavement outside the chapel, under gloomy skies. As we stood there among the crowd, while I joined the handful who sung a hymn, I got myself all choked up. Beb held me tight, and, with eyes closed, I said a silent prayer of gratitude.

I give up. I give it all up. Drive me to happiness. Stubborn as I may be, still, You are and will always be my way. I believe.

Me, in pictures

2007-07-07T11:25:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

This is my Confession.

2007-07-04T04:59:00.000+08:00

Please don't cast stones on me yet. Just hold off 'til that last punctuation mark. I am coming clean, and I want to be terribly clear about it. Like crystal.

Almost anyone in a three year relationship would surely be with me on this boat. I've tried to block it with whatever force I have in my will but this shitnitz wouldn't leave the fark out of me. It's a nagging feeling I have for almost about a year now. And if writing about it would help me expel this out of my body, by gawd, I will endure the spite from my friends, whom are about to read this and disown me forevermore.

Here it goes (please, God help me) ... I want the happily-ever-after married life. I want to have the husband I will cook breakfast and dinner for. I want to have little ones who look like me and beb running around my little house, messing up our deep brown corduroy couch in the suburbs of quezon city. I want to be the young, hot mom that brings my two beautiful boys (boys talaga eh) to an overpriced prep school in the morning then bake delicious cupcakes the rest of the day. I want my own cute little family to go to church with on Sundays, then buy the tots toys in the mall afterwards. Yup, despite the new age feminism seemingly fed to college-educated women like me, still, I want it all. And it's not like I want it all now. I wanted it all ... yesterday!

The yearning for my own little family, as with everything else crazy in my life, comes in waves. The waves become bigger when I'm around my cousins' precious kids, or whenever I see old friends, now with kids in tow, or even in mundane weekend window shopping in malls. I see them, little happy families, making me want the dream even more. They look very happy. I am drawn to that happiness. The happiness in the possibility of what ifs.

But, whenever I think about that glorious, obscenely priced bag turning into baby formula and diapers, or those party-til-you-drop nights turning into sleepless nights of feeding the baby, or that weekend getaway you know you deserve, with just your friends and the beach, turning into two days of catching up with "quality time" with the kids, I can't help but think twice. Kudos to the moms, and I know a lot and a great deal about some, whom I really admire, but, as luck would have it, I'm still as selfish as hell, and I don't know if I could give all of that up, not just yet.

I want it all. I want it, but I don't know if I'm ready to pay the price. Something has to give and I am not ready for the big trade off. The waves are there, and each time, the swells gets bigger and bigger. But they eventually calm down, and I'm back to my ol' rational, logical, selfish, selfish self. But each time a surge comes, I am comforted with knowing that one day I'll be ready. I'll be prepared and very willing to give all these up. The exchange may be rough but, by then, I'll know it'll make me happy, so much more happy. At the right time. With the right reasons. One day, I'll just know.

Setting the record straight: I STILL have no Balls.

2007-07-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

Guy talks are normal, funny blurbs in my life that let me peek in a world I'm glad I'm seldom part of. I will forever be one of the boys. But, I'm not complaining.

Me: Ba't ka walang pera? Siguro may dinidate ka noh?
V: Oo, 18 years old!
Me: Lupet mo, V! Barely legal yan ha! Baka makulong ka nyan.
V: Ok lang yan. Basta may mens pwede na!

Classic! Sanay na sanay na talaga sa akin.

Me: Hoy nakakalimutan mo na naman. Babae ako. Hahaha.
V: Ay oo nga pala. Minsan talaga nakakalimutan ko. Sensya. Hehehe.

Panalong hirit. Sorry, I can't help myself.

Me: At ano naman nakita nya sa yo at nabulag mo ata?
V: Pinakitaan ko ng katawan! Pinakita ko yung mga tinatagong kong muscles.
Me: Anong muscles? Sa binti?

Hahaha.

Happy birthday, V! Dadalan kita ng sandwich sa kulungan.

Sidenote, according to another guy, 18 years old is fair game.
Just when you thought somebody's special, they let you down. TYPICAL.
Oh, well...

Spoiled rotten.

2007-06-30T18:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder how did I get so lucky.

Beb and I celebrated our 3rd year and 4th month anniversary (? monthsary? smarshshery, whatever) in Trinoma, because he wanted to check out the newest mall on the block (the Block, get it? get it? Nyek). That was where his say for the night ends. Everything else was my call. Yes, I'm spoiled.

I had craving for fried chicken. Oh, I really miss friend chicken. And since Pancake House was nowhere to be found, I had to settle for Yellow Cab's hot wings, without the hot part. Doesn't really do much for the craving, but it's a start.

Gotta be prepared.

Glorious greasiness. I love it!

And because it's the season of great movies, we watched what's next on the must-see list, The Transformers. Ok, so admittedly, I was a little apprehensive. The Autobots and Decepticons I was used to were colorful, animated and in 2d, so putting it in live action is a bit of a shocker to old school peeps like me. But you got to hand it to what's his name, this guy they call Steven Spielberg, he knows how to make a good movie. It's surprisingly funny, too. I will spare the three people who read this blog of the spoilers, but if there is one reason a person should watch the film, this would be it.

Move over Mojax. Major Girl Crush, talaga.

Lesbianic tendency alert! Megan Fox is hawtness. Pardon me, but I swear the sight of her sincerely leads me to question myself and my bicuriousity. Grabe, kasama ko pa boyfriend ko nito ha.

Speaking of boyfriend, of all of 40 months we've been a couple, the bf has never failed to give me a gift each monthasary. This time is no exception. Yup, totally spoiled.

Which now adds to a growing tower of books that I have yet to read. Tambak na ko. Time to sit down and just read, that should be written in our Bill of Rights or something. Wishful thinking, haay...

Thanks beb. I know I'm one lucky bit... girl. Thanks for keeping me safe, relatively sane and very much happy. Love you to bits!

13, 14, 16, 18, Who's Counting?

2007-06-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

You can learn a lot of things in one crazy afternoon...

... Cebu Pacific mall outposts have seriously long queues inside. And it takes you forever to wait for a 45 second ticket fix-up.

... There are a lot of fun stuff that only adults will appreciate in toy stores. With that said, flash cards are so expensive these days. Toys, generally, are complicated and very pricey these days. Jackstones, rio rubber bands, free coke pogs and pick up sticks, those were our childhood.

... If you buy a watch, make sure it works. But if you're giving it to a beautiful 3 year old boy, he wouldn't know the difference. Wouldn't care either way too. And you'll get a sweet kiss, after.

... Mixing hot, steamy food with hot, steamy stories is...well, hot! Enough said.

... Ang karma mabilis. Minsan sa bilis, sumasakay pa ng taxi. (",)

... Sometimes, you can take the girls out of highschool, but you can never take highschool out of the girls. Mean girls once, mean girls forever. Mean, but of course, very lovable. Fair warning, if you see us in a group, and we're not particularly close, just turn and walk the other way. That's if you're not up for awkward moments. We don't care, really.

... If my future offsprings act up and screw up, I know who to call. Don't worry, Tita Che, it won't be collect. Hahaha. Ayokong matanong ni Tita Cheche. I'm scurred.

... Sheryl remembers everything. As in, EVERYTHING. If you forget past transgressions, whether forgotten accidentally or intentionally, ask She. She'll probably have a sick animated story to go with it, too.

...Old pictures are great sources of mindless laughtrips. Yearbooks are tummy ache inducing collection of stupid times. If you think you were pretty, hot and tempting during gs and hs, yearbooks will really snap you back to reality. Gawd, we were a bunch of nenes. In very compromising poses. Hahaha.

... Cheche will be forever an alamat in my books. Tessa is a close second. Panalo ang mga GSS. Mabel, anong ginagawa natin nung grade school? Nag-kli-cleaners? Hahaha.

See you soon, Cheche!

Happy Papa's day!

2007-06-18T16:58:00.000+08:00

Things could have easily gone the other way a few months back. I remember sitting on the dinner table one night. I was dead tired from the hospital where I was watching you on your last stay. I was looking on to where you usually sit for dinner and thought, if life changed course, how terribly I would miss those talks we have during breakfast. Since then, my only consistent prayer as I close my eyes each night is for Him to protect you. And really, God has been very good to me, to us. And I have never been so happy to celebrate Father's day. I am so blessed.
Thanks for being my strength and inspiration. I won't have any other guy walk me down the aisle, so you're going to be stuck with us for a very long time. I love you, Papa!

There she goes...

2007-06-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

There goes another one...

Cheche, with his beautiful boy, KC, is leaving us, heading for Guam by mid-month. Farewells are always sad occasions, but it wouldn't really do anybody good to just sob over it. So after a hefty dinner at Cheche's place, just like every milestone in our lives, we trooped off to Malate to watch Acoustic Jive.

We didn't get the "Please wear white" memo.

It was fun and crazy and we took tons of pictures. The drinks just kept coming and nobody was counting. We were downing one after another, and the waiter, the poor guy, was trying to keep up. As evident, the natural progression of drunkenness was very apparent with one picture after the next. Bali na yung leeg ni Mabel

Pang-ilan na to?

Template smiles na ito!

We have very weird dreams.

Hookah pa tayo, pag kaya pa nating maglakad.

Tumba na si tessa.

Uyyy, Hk daw?

I can really tell when I'm with a bunch of true-blue, same-wavelength friends when we individually thought of one thing: make Che-che sing! And sang she did.

Major reality check. No matter how frequent they come by these days, I will never really get used to goodbyes. So cheche, all I can say is I know I'll be seeing you later. And please bring your bibo kid. Ihahanda na namin ang casa!

Love you, che!

Favorite hobby ko?

2007-06-06T11:01:00.000+08:00

Maghanap ng bato at ipukpok sa ulo ko.

Either or.

2007-06-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

I don't know how much more my heart could take.
I've pushed it to the limits enough times that i don't know when it'll just break.

Just when I thought I have it together, in a blink, i find myself falling apart.
The worse thing is, it IS my choice.

I want it to end. I want it to go away.
I'm starting to let go of myself. I'm losing it.

I want it to stop

And then, begin again.

It's so nice to feel loved.

But it's so amazing to feel alive.

I still got it.

2007-06-04T11:39:00.000+08:00

Three years and three months into the relationship, beb thinks he has some sort of a hold over me. He claims I no longer stress him out. He's so familiar with all my drama, and I gotta hand it to him, he does seem steady now, especially in PMS-induced sapak. I sometimes worry I'm becoming a bore, predictable so to speak. So once in a while, I give him a reason why he's still into me. Just when he thought he has seen the last of my craziness, I throw him a curve ball, and remind him why he still loves me, the challenge and drama that is me. Note to fellow long time girlfriends, this is best done when eating, usually when something is bound to get stuck in his throat.

Me: You know what I just realized?
Beb: What?
Me: My time is almost up, if i wanted to pursue this dream.
Beb: What dream?
Me: I want to be a young hot mom!

I swear, you could see fear creep across the poor guy's face. It's so funny, it's crazy.

Hindi ko kinaya.

2007-05-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

Beb and I were having our usual conversation in the car when this literally silenced me. Just when you thought highbrow irony is reserved for the rich and educated, the common man proves me wrong.

Naintriga ako. Troubled sya.

Ang taray ni mamang tryke. Ang deep, grabe!

Sandcastles.

2007-05-22T21:38:00.001+08:00

In your shores, I found myself washed,
Sweet soft serenade of tender waves crash,
And, while the moon sings a lullaby so sweet,
My toes tingle, familiar sand beneath my feet.

Illusions of control, every trace left in me,
Blindedly bound, bottled up and sent to the sea.
Resisting is futile, considers nobody's sake
Strong is the urge to swim in this perfect mistake.

Deep breath is constant, borrowed time ticking,
Images of a fragile tomorrow is fleeting.
But even if there is no promise of forever
Tonight, under indigo skies, I surrender.

Check out baggages by the door.

2007-05-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

I am not up for mind games anymore.
Tempting, but it's getting old.
Just games? Perhaps.

I've stopped figuring it all out.
I've resigned to the fact that it'll never make sense.
Nothing ever had. Why should it start now?

I like fun.
Are you into it, too?
I wanna hear it.
You in or you out?

Here comes the bride...

2007-05-14T16:34:00.000+08:00

Let's get this out of the way. Yes, my younger sister is marrying ahead of me. Yes, I'm completely ok with that. And no, I won't soon follow. Forget about holding our collective breaths. We might just all die waiting, so let us quit now while we're ahead. Ok, everybody?

And just to prove that I'm completely ok with the whole naunahan thing, I decided to throw my sister a little bridal shower. Here's a few things I've learned:

1. Everybody's starving the night before the wedding. All those weeks of watching what you eat just to look your best at the wedding makes everybody cranky and deprived. And after everybody's final fitting and finding out you have a couple of inches of satin gown to spare for a well deserved dinner at the wedding reception, everybody starts pigging out. So tons of pizzas, each on its own is the size of mainland Luzon would be a party hit. The pizza delivery boy would be greatly appreciated.

Meatlovers all the way... Ate pen, me and crystal

2. Condoms apparently are great party paraphernalia. If you look past them being so slimy, they are not that difficult to blow into, and don't pop as much as regular balloons. Plus, they're flavored. Word to the wise (*wink*wink*), frenzy mint is the bomb, tastes a lot like stork candy. The orange one leaves a fishy aftertaste, and forget about trust chocolate altogether. Unless you're into bitter dark chocolates. If it was a lil more toblerone-ish flavored, I'd recommend it, but then again, trust pops more easily than frenzy. Scary. Hahaha.

We'd blown condoms twice the size of Tal's. Amazing.

3. National bookstore doesn't carry white crepe papers. Somebody should start a petition. Aren't people buying white crepe papers anymore? What's up with that? So instead of having crepe paper brides, all chaste and pure, donned in white ensemble, we end up having wannabe brides looking like they missed the Santacruzan. Well, Mayo naman, so nasa uso. Carry pa rin.

Project runway. Pinoy fiesta version.

Finally, saying goodbye to singlehood isn't really as bad as it sounds (as long as it's not my singlehood. hahaha.) So to my sister, I know you'll have a great wedding, and even more beautiful marriage. Now hand me my 20 pesos.*

Obligatory Korean pose with the bridesmaid and the bride

* Accordingly to our neighborhood manicurista, Ate Luz, when a younger sibling marries ahead of an older sibling, the younger one pays the older sister a small amount as a sort of pamahiin fee. Who would've thunk it? Maybe a should ask for more... half the wedding bounty should be enough. Harharhar.

They're out of "party packs"!

2007-05-12T08:50:00.000+08:00

I could just imagine what is going through the sales ladies' minds when they rang these up for me.

Wow. May party! Talaga namang assorted pa.

The clerks were going through it one by one in the slowest pace possible , inspecting them, asking each other as if that flavor was better than the next. Meanwhile, I was getting curious unwarranted looks from the line growing behind me.

Yes, so what? I like the variation. My sexual appetite is that massive. And I don't want to contribute to our country's population problem, not just yet. We intend to use three at a time, just to make sure. And I believe the chocolate one really tastes like chocolate. Just punch it out, will ya? The boyfriend and I are obviously kinda in a hurry.

Pinoys talaga. Napaka non-judgmental. (Insert appropriate level of sarcasm here.)

Steady lang.

2007-05-09T15:14:00.000+08:00

I don't blog when...

... there's too much to worry about. I know this has been a very effective cathartic outlet for me. But in times when the worry wart in me starts kicking in, I'd rather not blog it for posterity. Of course, life is not always a beach, but I don't want to highlight life's bitchiness in my archives. I'd deal with the nasty stuff, but as far as this blog goes, I'm trying to keep it happy.

... there's too much going on. My dad's episode. My sister's wedding. My up-to-my-neck workload. And massive torrent downloads to catch up on. Heroes anyone? Enough said.

... there's nothing going on. The thing with me is when I have all the time in the world to blog, I don't blog, for the reason that I have all the time in the world to blog. You say po-tay-toe. I say po-ta-to. You say laziness. I call it "lack of challenge".

Between this reason and the last, when do I blog then?

When everything is steady. When life is a pain, but alaxan can still cure it. When I catch myself and convince my stubborn brain to stop overthinking. To let it go, and just write it down.

Free yourself. It's never too late for brand new resolutions.

Sometimes, I could really use a warning.

2007-04-01T11:13:00.000+08:00

There are just some things that aren't meant to be discussed on the dinner table. At least, not yet. Or, make that, ever.

It was Jamie's graduation and I was invited for dinner in Annabel Lee's by the Peralejos in celebration. The dinner was lovely. We had clam chowder, salad and while everybody else had roast chicken and pasta, me, the meat lover than I am, had filet mignon. Carnivore na kung carnivore. But in as much as I loved the meat, it was by far not the highlight of my night.

Well, highlight not in the sense that it was happiness all over. The moment was very rattling, to say the least.

The boyfriend has this recent conviction to lead a healthy lifestyle. With much prodding by his mom, and with what happened to my father, he finally decided to go through the Weight Management Program in St. Luke's. The program worked and in just one month, he has lost about the same weight targetted for him to lose in 3 months. This accomplishment seemingly boosted the conviction and he is now considering an overhaul, which i lovingly termed "prettyfication".

During dinner, I found out that the next stop to prettyfying the boyfriend was with the orthodontist. My boyfriend is considering getting grills! The dentist suggested putting on braces to fix his underbite, which for three years that I have been with him, haven't notice. With a careful look, though it was hardly noticeable, he did had an underbite. I, of course, suggested that if he thinks he should get them, then he should do so, after all, I used to work the braces ages ago to fix my overbite. That once cured overbite is obviously as stubborn as the person who had it and eventually came back, but never did it bother me. Then Tita Beth, his mom, lets this loose.

"O di ok pala, he has an underbite, you had an overbite. When you have kids, they'll have perfectly aligned teeth."

Kids? When? How? Where? Why?

I got hold of my glass of water and washed down the last bite of meat I suddenly found hard to swallow.

There are friends. And there are best friends...

2007-03-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

I know it's way emo, super trivial, and filled with drama I do not need in my life right now, but hell, got to give it props. Hi, I'm Lallie, and I'm addicted to "The Hills". Consider this my public service announcement. Don't watch it. You'll get hooked.

I am so into it that I've already watched season two twice over, and I can't wait to click the dl button for the next episode. I am so into it that I already have a dedicated playlist in my podpie for the tracks I downloaded from the series. I am so into it that last night the super tamad texter in me went into a text binge because seeing friendships deteriorate over a*holes in guises of very toothy-smiled excuses of boys make me appreciate my girlfriends even more. And I want them to know it right at that moment.

As expected, I am not alone.

Over SMS:

Me: I miss you, J!
J (time zones away): Lal! I miss you too!!! What's the matter alligator!? Something wrong?
Me: Wala lang. Was watching the hills, na emo lang ako about friends. Just want you to know you're missed, love you J!
J: Hahaha, what part na ng the hills dyan?! True true! That show makes me miss my bitches/bestfriends!

Yes, I love the show. And I so love my friends. And I hope despite the world changing, we never will. Hugs for everybody!

Gift of you. And a whole lotta cheese.

2007-03-01T12:20:00.000+08:00

Since there's no February 29 (again) this year, beb and I have been celebrating our anniversary on either Feb 28th or March 1st for the last 2 years and this year's no different. Being more of the receiver (yes, I'm spoiled) in this relationship, I needed a make-up gift for all three years he has been so nice and in love with me despite my occasional moments of 'sapak' (definition of which will be discussed in another post. hehe). My search landed me in Ongpin, and with much asking around and saving up, the gift apparently didn't disappoint.

The boyfriend is as happy as a five year-old kid on Christmas day. Or a deprived 24 year old boyfriend of three years. Just take you pick.

So beb, thanks for the companionship in moments when you'd rather rest and sleep, the food in moments when you'd wished to have the last piece, the patience in moments when it's easier to give up, the love in moments when it's easier to walk away, the friendship in moments when you need to be somewhere else. But there's no somewhere else, there's no giving up, there's no walking away with you and me. There's just moments. And i couldn't feel more blessed. I love you more than ever, more than you'll ever know. 3 years and wishing for a long way to go. To just be.

Ol' times. Ol' times

2007-02-26T10:16:00.000+08:00

We went up to Tagaytay this weekend. My father asked for it --- maybe it's his way of "waking up and smelling the roses". I've ever been to Tagaytay for the longest time, last being with my college friends for some bonding time post-graduation. This from a girl who's used to be up there every weekend with the whole clan for some picnic. And guess what we did there this time?

No, we didn't eat in leslies, had a drink in Starbucks, or entered in any one of those very commercial establishments that lined up the main road. This is especially hard when we all know Tagaytay is now oh-so-manila-with-a-view-of-a-volcano. All my father wanted was an old-school picnic. So, we found our old little nook in the midst of urbanization, the only one I think that still rents out old tables that creek whenever you make the slightest move. Beb and Mark set up the gas stove (yes, we bring an LPG tank when we picnic. This is our version of 'roughing it'.) and while mama cooked sinigang (O di ba picnic? May mainit na sinigang? Sarap!) and inihaw, we took the time to introduce to Ouie what Tagaytay had to offer besides the 'bolkayno'.
This time, we awakened her senses to the wonders of hard core playgrounding. She was so used to air conditioned plastic houses setup in malls that charge by the hour. Those where swings and slides have cushy pillows and carpeting to soften her and other all the kids' fall.They play with little kitchens for the miniature martha stewart's and little cars you can actually ride in. The kids today, they're so spoiled! Our day, we played at noon on monkey bars and slides made of steel and galvanized iron that burns your hand and butts so much so that the possibility of procreating the next generation became impossible.

You land on construction-grade sand, the plain old lupa that turns to mud heaven when it rains, or just the good ol' cemento. Then after us going at it with all the other kids for some time, you go home smelling not-so-baby-like, looking as if they had us sent us mini-troops in the 90's version of the Iraq war.

But Ouie enjoyed it. And we enjoyed the picnic. And Papa was happy. Just like old times. I didn't know I'd actually say this, but, sometimes, I just love normalcy.

This is it.

2007-02-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

How can two small, shining, shimmering (splendid?) round things mean so much?

Puzzles me, really. But I don't think I'm inclined to know why.

Note: Two words. Not.Mine.

Drowning in Dry Land

2007-02-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

Parokya ni Edgar's lead vocalist, Chito Miranda was last night's guest at Deal or No Deal. When Kris Aquino asked if he and girlfriend Kaye Abad had a theme song, he replied : "Meron, 'Sad to Belong'. "

The water I was drinking went down the wrong pipe. Seriously.
Di ko lang alam kung sa tawa o sa... never mind. (",)

Pananabik

2007-02-20T14:56:00.000+08:00

Kahit anong sarap ng cinnamon swirl ng Starbucks, lechon kawali na may Mang Tomas o yung orig na white rabbit (yung may edible na papel), mauumay ka rin pag araw araw mo tong kakainin.

Minsan mas maganda pang binibigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang sarili mong masabik.

... (O di ba? Mababaw na ubod ng lalim? Keri nyo?)

Back in the Mix

2007-02-19T11:40:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel a little off when life's starting to feel "normal" again?

Saying "I'll pass, iinom nyo na lang ako." have been my constant reply to friends when invited to the usual night outs, obviously due to pressing reasons. But saturday night has been a welcomed change in my home-work routine. This time, it was for Techie's post bday celeb.

It was with the girls, as always. Techie, maebz, trinz, deb, yeng, with dale, me with beb. It was at our usual hole-in-the-wall, Unplugged, with our favorite band, Acoustic Jive, playing. It was their usual playlist, Sting covers, plus the favorites, Erasure, Bonnie Rait, etc.etc.

Of course, there were always a few surprises. Dale sang John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland", much to the girls' delight. This, after VP's performance, is starting to be a very entertaining initation for the boylets of the group. As Lola Mae puts it "Naku, sumasama ka dyan? Eh nagpapaimpluensya sa mga kaibigan yan". Lolo Romy also did a number on U2's With or Without You in Bossa, so well in fact that I wonder why didn't anybody thought of it before. Malupet to say the least.

It was a great "usual" night for us. And I'm happy I've gone out. So why am I feeling a tad off? Maybe because all these seems fleeting when you now know life can suddenly happen. Maybe the fear will really never go away. But just to end with a happy note, to my super friends, I'm just crushed to know I was missed. Thanks for showing me some love. It's so... normal.

Love ko to

Because Sith happens!

2007-02-18T09:59:00.000+08:00

Remember this?

So after months of cam lusting/cam dreaming (yup, as in the cam follows me in my dreams) and I swear delayed gratification never really suited me, I finally took the plunge... in Hidalgo! With beb in tow, I went to my favorite camera store to buy me my precious new baby. At first, I thought, I wanted a Canon 350D --- more bells and whistles, and a popular buy for budding enthusiasts looking for their first dSLR. But after reading tons of reviews (and i mean tons) I decided to go with Nikon's entry level, the D40 --- great shots out of the box, madaling makisama, excellent kit lens, and super wonderful and totally helpful community of Nikonian users , which is priceless for newbies like me. And right from the first click, I'm totally sold, not to mention immediately fell in love with it. And since I'm now suki, Henry gave his rock bottom price for it and an additional discount. San ka pa?

Sith na ako!

Much more, when before beb threatened to break up with me if I went through with such a pocket burning hobby, he went 180 and totally supported me. Eh teka, para namang natakot ako dun noh? Sino kaya mas matatakutin? And speaking of burning holes in my pocket, yup, that's the 5 million dollar home my new baby now sleeps in. My bank account is totally getting a beating this year. Pipikit na lang ako pag pipindot ako sa ATM, para hindi ko maramdaman ang sakit. Hehehe.

Doesn't scream "Camera bag, steal me!". Very purrty in red!
Maa-addict ata ako sa Crumplers ah!

With shots like these, i think the cam is totally worth the buy.

Call me crazy, but I'm in love (again)

Long time coming.

2007-02-15T12:11:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I didn't see that one coming.
Damn it, I got blindsided. And the nerve left me hanging.
I didn't know we were playing a game.
Aba, varsity kaya ako dito. May letter jacket kaya ako.

But damn it, damn it, damn it. Naisahan ata ako dun ah.
Eto mahirap sa overthinking, it backfires.
Damn it! Argh!

Room 504

2007-02-14T09:59:00.000+08:00

One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world texted me last night. It was a very heartwarming message that sent me all mushy inside. Sometimes, not to come off as a tad bit self absorbed, but I get very little appreciation in life. There's my tragic story. That's why I get so taken by a few words strung together telling me how I affected somebody else's life. Mababaw, I know. Pero sa akin, you will really never know how much it means to me. Touched. Super.

Everybody else's in the whole world celebrates this day of love. But who says love and friendship are mutually exclusive (and I'm not really that big on valentine's)? So my friends, Happy Valentine's! May you sing your heart songs and find your heart's content.

*This goes out especially for K.
You know i love you to bits girl!
If only we could vaccinate ourselves
from the pains of this world,
we'd inject each other in a sec.
But we live in an imperfect world,
full of imperfect people.
Good thing,
we have our imperfect crazy selves
to cover each other's back.
Got your back girl!
Till our next soft porn night. Wehehe.

Balloon fest virgins.

2007-02-12T09:12:00.000+08:00

Beb and I went to the balloon fest with Andy and Yariboy, two first timers this year. As if the testosterone in the air wasn't enough to make me feel quite outnumbered with the presence of so many boys (we also met up with Pete and Osh there), the dreaded car talk went on for hours, i just got lost. Oh, and there were the jokes.

Yari: Excited na ako.
Osh: First time mo?
Yari: Oo.
Osh: Glad to pop your balloon fest cherry.

Hahaha. Haaay boys. Buti na lang may balloons.
Pics are here.

leader of the pack 02.11.07

The man with the plan(s)

2007-02-07T11:25:00.000+08:00

He talked about the pad he's finally getting in Serendra, and the family he's going to raise there, his ideas on the home office in Roxas District and the business he's starting up in Manila.

I talked about the nagging cam lust and going into the dark side.

That idea. Dead to me.

All grace.

2007-02-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

I owe my every inch of courage and grace to you, none of which even remotely comes close to what you have shown this past few weeks. You will always be a blessing.

I love you, Mama. Happy birthday!

Quote of the day.

2007-02-04T18:54:00.000+08:00

After assisting in our sunday feeding program at church, my family went to President in Ongpin to feed our starving selves. My cousin, Dra. Beth (incidentaly also my ninang. She was 12, I think.) eldest among the clan, was also there. Dra. had her younger brother marry before her, so when she came upon the news that Kulet was getting married on May, yes, very well ahead of me, she went into this panalo quip:

Dra: Leng, mauuna si Es-em sa iyo magpakasal? Pumayag ka?
Dapat hindi ka nagpauna. Tingnan mo ko, naunahan. Ayaw ko na tuloy.

Hahaha. Pero, come to think of it, parang ayaw ko na rin. Hehehe.

I miss BLOGGING!

2007-01-31T11:57:00.001+08:00

Crazy start to what seems to be a very eventful year.
Lotsa stories to share.
Will hopefully return to normal programming soon! (sana, sana, sana...)
Peace out!

Anybody home?

2007-01-12T09:47:00.000+08:00

May blog pa pala ako.
I know my precious blog got neglected over the past several months, pero I have valid reasons, promise. I'll go about updating it later. I need the distraction, anyways.
So here's me, back for 2007. I tell you, it has one hell of a start. Kapit.

Wanted: Prayer Warriors

2007-01-10T10:40:00.000+08:00

"Matagal ko ng inaabangan to eh. Alam kong dadating to."
My father's words when the doctors asked him how he was.

***

My father suffered from a mild stroke early thursday morning, January 4th. I rushed to Chinese Gen, where Mama and Mark got him admitted. By the time i got to the emergency room, he was already fine. Naagapan, that's what the nurses said. Thank God he had enough will not to sleep off what he thought was a very nasty headache. I found him joking around the emergency room, making kulit the nurses attending to him. Around, i see an old woman in life support, her grown son crying. This, next to a man being pumped back to life, his family being taken to the next room, away from the chaos the code called caused. In my heart, still beating a mile a minute, i said a silent prayer of thanks. I was blessed another day.

***

After a battery of tests, and five days in the hospital, my father got discharged on a promise that he'll be back sunday afternoon, this time to prepare him for his coronary bypass wednesday morning. It is very rattling how very fast things were happening. My father's appearance can be very fooling. He looked very ok, just like nothing happened, but his ticker, judging by the angiogram results the doctor showed me, had several lifetimes of beating and the doctors advised for immediate major fix up. I trust them. I trust Him. He will see us through.

***

Please pray for my father, for a successful operation and for a speedy recovery. Please pray for the doctors for guidance, and please pray for us for strength. We need all the prayers we can get. Thanks.

Say my Name

2006-11-23T18:15:00.000+08:00

First day of classes never went without a glitch for me, especially when the dreaded roll call begins. In the 17 years I spent in formal education, I don’t remember one instance that the teachers got it right, my surname that is. Ok, I get it. Udquin is a little uncommon… ok a lot uncommon. I never heard of any Udquin that isn't blood-related to me. But please, how difficult can a two-syllable word be? Name any mutation of my surname and I probably had heard it. I probably might respond to ud-queen, but for heaven’s sake, don’t go adding letters that actually aren’t there just to ease your pain of pronouncing my slightly (ok, overtly) extraordinary surname.

I especially don’t get it when one has the simple task of copying it off an ID or a written form and still messes it up. For my first two years in Ateneo, when PE classes were in the curriculum, I try to buy Loyola School PE shirts. I buy tons not only for the classes, but those things are pretty cheap and are super comfy to sleep on. And every semester, I end up having my receipt issued by this old cashier guy who had bottoms of Coke bottles for glasses, and yes every sem, a very generous somebody named Melissa Joaquin seems to be buying my shirts. Who the farking hell is Melissa Joaquin?!? To this day, two years after graduation, I still haven’t gotten my diploma. Still scared shit that somebody named Melissa Joaquin graduated in ’04 in lieu of me.

I guess there is no escaping it. And since Beb and I have this thing for conventions, I am constantly reminded of the name game I play all my life. But I guess by now, I’m so used to the fiasco, the mutations just become funnier. Like this one for one show we recently attended. Joquin... seriously?

And just today, when I opened up my mail and got this. Three months of waiting for the card to buffer the damage of indulging. And I get this. Oo, pare, this time, I'm Clarissa Odquin. Odquin! Haay, life. Yeah, that's me, alright. Now gimme some cake.

I know i'm getting old when...

2006-11-17T07:08:00.000+08:00

... instead of buying that bag i've been salivating over in Celine, that rocking low rise pants that feels like second skin in Giordano, or that very purrrty top from Bayo, here I am going over yearly dividends, dues and maturity periods of indecipherable insurance plans. And I actually feel ok about it.

Wait, i'll process muna.
Ok, i'm ok about it, really.

Gym-rat kunyari.

2006-11-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

It's almost mid-month and surprisingly, I haven't thrown any fit, big or small, considering it's the notorius "N" word-month. Beb is attributing it to the fact that I am not trying to deprive myself of arterial-clogging goodies just to make me feel a little better shedding off some unwanted muffin top. He made sure I ate to my heart's delight so he could have a peaceful relationship this month. I agreed. So everybody's happy.

But since shopping is a pain when you're slightly curvy (on all the right places naman, hahaha, whatever), I knew there had to be another way to lose that weight. So good luck to me and my will power, 'cause I just got a fitness first membership, and I pray to the heavens that I don't cop out 'cause somebody just plunked down some serious change for my three-month passport. Seryoso na ako. Promise.

*** Note to all my beloved friends: If you get a call from fitness first, super sorry. I wanted the free kit that came in exchange for referrals, hehehe, but heck, they're giving out free trials so di ba? Samahan nyo ko one of these days, please? RP's the place to be. Nyek.

Neck-deep

2006-11-09T15:19:00.000+08:00

Oo na, sige na.
I'm being reeled in.
A Japanese dinner at Omakase to send off Nikki, the bride, this being her last dinner as a single with her cousins, and a cheesecake galore dessert at Eastwood to welcome Missy, the Aussie-based cousin who still nurses a jetlag, with matching comment, "Anong oras ba nagsasara mall dito? Sa Australia ala-singko pa lang sarado na to. Niaantok na ako". Ang kulit. Hehehe.

Missy, Pol, Ari, Trish, Raf, Jamie, Me and Beb

And now, for my next trick...

2006-11-08T11:39:00.000+08:00

Whoever said that you can't feel pain in your dreams is totally out of the loop, cause apparently you can, or at least i do.

For a week now, I've been having these dreams that i can bend my wrist all the way, so much so that i can touch the back of my forearms. I don't have any plans of running away to join the circus, so my contortionist wannabe dreams are very puzzling. The thing is, i wake up in the middle of my joint-twisting act because of the pain, with me actually seeing that I am doing it. I actually am bending my farking wrist!

Now it hurts like hell, taking a bath with the tabo is a chore. I am now a leftee bather which is no fun cause the water isn't pouring where it should be pouring. Yeah, oversharing, but it's frustrating. Yesterday, when lifting a few shopping bags i actually popped something, and now my right wrist makes weird sounds when i rotate it. It's scary and entertaining at the same time. Who knew, pwede pala akong pang banda rito banda roon, armed with my musical popping wrist. Take that armpit squishers!

Amateur rockstar dreams aside, the wrist bending dreams is driving me nuts. I've tried putting weights on my hand to make it not move in my sleep, but no, the dreams still come. This freaks me out because if i can contort wrists in my sleep and actually do it, what the heck else can i do? I don't wanna murder somebody in my dreams, then wake up realizing I actually did hack somebody (Which in that case, can I claim temporary insanity? Will I get acquitted? Hmm, seem like a nice pla... never mind). It's so very shake-rattle-and-roll. I'm like a walking Regal thriller. Ayayay, so scary...

Midwest Midterm Midtacular

2006-11-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

(Stewart/Colbert '08. Hahaha.)

Ganito kadami ang Pilipino sa Amerika.
Kailangan talaga ng translation.
Seryoso. No photoshop-ing necessary.
Lupet.

World domination na ito.

Snarky sneaky sunday.

2006-11-06T10:53:00.000+08:00

Beb and I sunday morning...

*phone rings*
Beb: Wake up. Get dressed.
Me: Whu... Ano meron? Antok pa ako.
Beb: Lunch at Lolo's and lola's.
Me: *suddenly awakened by shock and fear* What?!? Bat ngayon mo lang sinabi?
Beb: Para di ka na makatanggi.

Damn, i've been in this relationship for too long. He already knows my habits. Though it took him this long to know that my game gets thrown through pure shock value. Sneaky, sneaky.

Me: Uhm, do i have a choice?

*A million excuses started to trickle and process in my equally sneaky mind.*

Beb: No. You're expected.

*cue twilight zone soundtrack...

Me: *in my mind* Whaaahhhh!!!!

*** postscript:
The lunch with the Peralejos went well, despite the bed weather. Jr's lola is as always warm, and seems genuinely interested with what I do for a living. I met his Tita Carrie, who's based in the states, one of only two left that I haven't met before. Her salad was great, so was the kare-kare his Japanese Tita Rissa made, equally delish. Peter Pan peanut butter seems to be the secret. Beb dozed off after filling up, as seen on the very Don Jose Raul-like, telenovela-esque kodak moment on the left. They talked of weddings, since three of his cousins are marrying within a year's time, a topic I managed to avoid by just putting on a smile when asked when JR and I's "long table" will be. Nope, let's altogether not hold our breath. And Pauline hogged my Ipod. Grey's Anatomy addicts, unite! Hehehe.

The Chase

2006-11-03T14:48:00.000+08:00

I am that kid who regularly goes by the toy store window display to see the shiniest, cutest toy they have. I occasionally touch the toy with pure awe, play with it as long as i can and i'm allowed to, then sets it down for the day when i've gotten my fix. Then I walk away, say to myself, til the next time i pass by. With each time i go by, it was like teasing myself over and over again. Each time I glance its way, I wish this was the day i could take it home.

Then one day, with time and enough courage, my wish comes true. I take it by hand, admiring every inch, grasping the idea that what i had wanted for a long time was now mine. But just like every newest, shiniest toy i get, the moment i knew i had it, the longing is over. And it will sit there, like the toys that came before it, forgotten. The craving turns to the new, shiny toy that took its place on the toy store window display.

I'm afraid I will not grow out of that kid. Just the same, i'm afraid to grow up.
Giving up the chase is as difficult as giving in.

p.s. This post is not about my new toys.
As much as i love my ipod and my ixus
(now christened as I1 and I2), they are
trivial pursuits. We're talking about
epics here, people. Epic --- google it.

Watch my Mood Swing

2006-11-01T18:18:00.000+08:00

Tingnan mo nga naman. November na naman.
Oh well. Good luck to anyone within my 5 mile radius.
Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Deal or no deal.

2006-10-27T16:34:00.000+08:00

Two down, and since beb made me promise to postpone getting the third one, looks like would be my last toy ... for now... *evil laugh*

So one thursday afternoon, with beb and I in our roughing-it-please-do-not-holdup-us ensembles, we went to Quiapo at the famed Hidalgo St. We had no celebrity-level moolahs ala the former Braniston, who had his and hers Benzes, so we opted for what suits our budget, his and hers digital cameras. Hahaha. Nakikilevel kami. Pero kapos. Hehehe.

We went for the Canon ixus 65, which as of last price point check at Avant, GB3 still costs around Php 24,500. Since we had nothing of that sort to spare, the bargain queen in me rose and found us a steal. Hidalgo St. houses the best bargain in the Metro for cameras, and with a little email haggling taken cared of by me, coupled by phone intimidation and cutesy persistent begging by beb, we emerged from Henry's and Quiapo altogether, safe and unscathed, with two ixus 65's at 14.5k each. Bwahaha. That 10k less hit from the debit card. Take that profit-monger stores. Needless to say we were happy. Me particularly. Madugong bisyo ito. Hahaha.

Wow Philippines moment.

2006-10-25T08:56:00.000+08:00

Taking advantage of Tuesday's day off, me and my aunt decided to hunt for a place for the family to spend the holidays in. First stop, PG. Originally we thought t'was a great idea. But halfway through the hour-and-a half boat ride, we decided that ending the year traversing Amihan waters between Batangas and Mindoro with 60 family members on a single outrigger was the stuff serious nightmares and bad plotted teleseryes are made off. So after we reached the still beautiful and inviting shores of Galera, we just had breakfast, and took some pictures, while waiting for the next boat back to the mainland.

With still half a day to abuse, my aunt had this nagging feeling to go to a resort well "promoted" by my uncle. Eagle point was this diver's find nestled along the coast of Anilao. Ok, i've been to Anilao once, the roads were hell, but the view and the waters were priceless, and since work waiting in Manila wasn't attractive, we headed off to Mabini to see the place.

The road to Eagle point was still hell, coupled with the unfathomable and well hidden signs, the place was a burden to go to if you just intend to just leisurely lie and toast your skin for three days. But because Uncle kept pointing out the hellish trip was well worth it, we obliged.

So an hour after leaving Batangas port, with patches on single passable lanes along the way, we arrived at eagle's point parking area. A shuttle was taking us down the resort cause visitors wouldn't risk the drive down. At this point, the boat ride to Galera seemed a little less scary, but we were there already so to heck with it, we were up for one more adventure. After several screams down the cliff road death traps, this view welcomed us. To say that my camera phone didn't do the view justice was an obscene understatement. I swear it was another one of those rare times that I said to myself, "May ganito pala sa Pilipinas."
Eagle point is a short three hours away from Manila without any scary boat rides. It has its own freaking white sand island. One of its pools has a live shark in it. You can just jump off one of its piers and a dive point rests there. It is a panoramic orgasm, seriously. Safe to say, we were totally sold, my aunt practically wrote a check. Now, I'm just crossing my fingers, everything follows through and hope Christmas comes at a blink of an eye. Can't wait to spend it with the wacky clan in paradise.

White soap bar.

2006-10-23T09:04:00.000+08:00

When you wish and pray hard enough, it'll happen. Sabi ko na, walang sinabi ang Globe. Malakas ako kay Lord.

Looks like i cashed in my bday card early. This apparated on my desk early Monday morning. Yup, that's season three of Grey's anatomy on my spanking new 80 gig white ipod vid. Minus the serious damage to my debit card.

Oh, happy day talaga. Can't stress enough on how grateful I am. Super thanks.

Room With a View

2006-10-19T07:16:00.000+08:00

There are some days when you feel like can go through concrete walls, like you're some super human with super powers. Then you realize, like countless times before, you're not and you start bleeding all over. You look down to see new wounds only to find old ones ripped open, the ones you thought have healed, those that made you think you can go through walls again.

The thing is, it isn't a shocker. It happened so many times before it starts to feel normal. Bleeding old wounds starts feeling normal. You can't help but walk through walls. Because no matter how stupid as it may seem and how painful it might get, walking through walls is still a much better option than walking right by it. At least you know who'll help you fix your wounds and make everything better again. Til another one of those days.

***

At the end of a very crappy day, it's nice to have cheerleaders who you know will always be on your team no matter how much you bitch over and over again of the crappiest day you ever had ...again.

Thanks J. I know how it's easier for you to just laugh at my face and say "Payback's a bitch", since you have every right to do so. But you didn't, instead you pat me in my back and say tomorrow's another day. You believe i can top the stupid thing i did with even more stupid things. You're a good man dude.

Salamat P. When you asked me what was wrong, out of the blue, without me even telling you something was wrong, that you can just feel it, heck, that was something. Minsan talaga, i sincerely doubt why you share DNA with your brother, but when you start making hirits like "Pinagpapawisan ang itlog at kilikili ko sayo" i become a believer. You crack me up. I have that reaction to most Apostols. But i love you, man. Minsan, medyo oversharing ka lang, nasaskandalo ako. Hahaha.

And thanks beb. When you told me you love me more than you love life itself, it's a little OA, maybe even a little cheesy, but you know, I believe you. Mangkika.

When it comes to life's battles, i've got my own chubby private army. I may not win all the time, but who says getting bear hugs after you lost isn't a win itself. Hehehe. Beat that.

Reality check.

2006-10-18T07:04:00.000+08:00

Beb bought me an ipod.

He bought it 'cause it reminded him of me. He braved a weekday rush hour traffic in Makati, went past his house in QC to bring the ipod to me in Navotas, then offered to take me home to Malabon. The ipod was pink, crumbly and edible. He brought me an edible ipod on a stick. All the way from Makati. On a weekday. Without so much of an occasion. Just to see me smile.

How did I get this lucky?

Distraction

2006-10-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

There are no issues to face nor avoid, no rationalizations to be made, no actions to do or undo.

And since I'm ok with my blog's lay out, my room is O.C.-level clean and I can't do something with my hair, at least for five more months, lilibangin ko na lang sarili ko. Feel free to ponder with me. Of all the questions that was asked of me today, this one's a toughie, "Ang crabstick ba considered crab pa rin? Kung oo, edi ang crabstick seafood pa rin?"

Yup, i've got no issues.

Team Addison

2006-10-12T11:33:00.000+08:00

I love technology!

Grey's anatomy is my crack this year, and reading the episode guide three episodes in of season 3 practically turns my flesh and bones wobbly as jello. I didn't know blurbs can do that to me until they hinted that not only McDreamy and McVet will be gracing their yummy presence on the series but now McSteamy's gonna be in the mix. Oh.My.Gawd. Yey for Team Addison!

And since their regularly updated website has the tragedy of showing its latest full episode online for viewers in US territory only, i, the addict that i am, knew there was a loophole. There's always a kink in the system. Two days after they aired the first episode of the present season, someone, bless his/her/its soul, generously posted the whole ep chopped up on youtube. But heck, damn copyright laws, Disney had a whiff and demanded it be pulled out. Do I, the addict, give up? Ummm, no, and since limewire has been my friend for several years now, i know Limey will pull through for me. And yes, i have now watched, screamed, gone giggly over all three episodes of the current season.

I LOVE Technology!

Lust fart

2006-10-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

I just want to get this out of my system. Hindi ako makapag sulat eh. Nadidistract ako. I-address ko lang, baka matahimik nang konti.

I want this.

And this. And ha, hindi or.
Mukhang may naaamoy akong madugong birthday ah. I need to drop some hints and start some serious blood-letting drive, or else i may find myself all dried up at 24. Ang pangit.

Sumakay pa talaga to.
Arghhh.
Lust. Lust. Dream on. Lust.

There's goes another artery

2006-10-08T13:44:00.000+08:00

I swear i thought t'was going to be a night-out from hell.

I couldn't really blame it on the usual "unplanned/spontaneous" gimiks like we used to have back in the good 'ol days. Work/boyfriends kinda screwed that route. Actually, this was more on the overly planned gimik, three weeks in the making. And in our kada's extensive "labas tayo tonight" experience, severely thought-out plans usually don't go as planned.

Ok, night out break down. After work, 6-ish for most of us, we all head our own ways to gateway, then catch a flick and have dinner, not particularly in that order. Six-ish come, I, with half my lungs working (damn you asthma) text techie if she needed a ride to gateway, me being conviniently in Makati already (yup, even asthma couldn't keep me at home). Ka-Tam kicked in, a Greenbelt-Gateway debate slightly ensued, but we sticked it out with Gateway. Tessa was about to equip Amorsolo with smoke detectors, but i was picking her up anyway. Then our designated pahtey planner, itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Yeng, came to work late and was forced to work over time, pushing the sked further into the night. Hello, half my lung isn't working kaya. Then the girl did the unthinkable, she, the one who (forgive the conyo-ness) made kulit for several weeks to go out, actually double-booked us with her boyf's night-out with his respective kada. Ay Yeng, pasaway ka, kung di lang kita mahal, nagkapatayan na tayo sa gateway.

So scrapping movie plans, we just decided to have dinner at the predesignated place. T'was this little heaven beb and i discovered in Cubao --- Butter Diner. The fact that we were hungry and it took us short of an hour to order says a lot on the excruciating choice not to indulge in gluttony and order everything ungodly in the menu. Talagang parang bibitayin na kami bukas at papipiliin kami ng last meal. But it wasn't disappointing at all. All my hype paid off. Yeng, the FHP prez, toasted our bread and burned Dale's (galit ba? hahaha), Techie hogged the strawberry butter and Maebz can now be found on Sundays worshipping their Mozarella omelette. We enjoyed everything to the last bite, save for the peanut-butter butter. Anak ng... peanut-butter butter, the name is warning enough. Pero it was a tiny glitch on an almost perfect meal. A few more years eating like this and probably we'll never get to see our thirties (woohoo! hahaha) . Pamatay meal, in more ways than one.

Well, will you look at that, turned out to be a great night after all.

Whoopdeebleepingdoo

2006-10-05T15:08:00.000+08:00

I sooooo knew it. Marky Mark rules!

After a long movie drought for me and beb, primarily caused by the very traumatic "My Super ex-girlfriend", compounded by weeks of flicks not worthy of your hard earned money, beb and i had our movie fix. And whatta fix it is.

Ok, it's not the Oscar-caliber film season yet. The movie was filled with an obscene amount of A-listers, totally bound to be a major disappointed, to the point that if it did bombed, it wouldn't be a shocker. It's a hollywood adaptation of a Tikoy flick, "Infernal Affairs", and if you'd seen "The Ring" or "The Grudge" being butchered by Lalaland, you'll tend to grow skeptical. It's a Scorsese release, and the package was practically screaming "Gangs of New York" box office tragedy. But this was no Gangs of New York. As Dignam would've put it himself, Hell fucking no.

T'was, first and foremost, a guy flick. And God knows, i love, love, love guy flicks. More so than cheezy chick flicks. The action was intense, not for the faint-hearted. It was super in your face, and if they've made a warner bro.'s ride after it, you'd be covered all over with blood (hopefully made with sweet strawberry syrup hehehe). I practically watched the entire film with one eye, leaving one to healthily function when the movie ends. The language would be make all the nuns in the convent blush, and I'd seriously question any attempt to have it shown in Philippine TV. Gawd, if they had trouble dubbing Casino, imagine having this immaculately cleaned for primetime TV. Waaahhh, nooooo. Please don't. Blasted censorship.

And since i wouldn't know how to further praise the genius that is Scorsese without having damn spoilers, i'll just say that i cried a bucket over what they did to Martin Sheen and again, MARKY MARK rules! (hahaha, spoiler.)

Class Act

2006-10-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

I'm on the verge of losing my voice. My nose was stuffy. And to top it all off, i'm heartbroken.

Waking up with a massive headache, I called in sick and stayed home the whole of monday. Spent most of the morning sleeping, the afternoon, screaming. After forty minutes of regulation and another 5 spent battling out the remnants of season 69, they won. By two points. A heartbreaker.

But, I couldn't be more prouder to be BLUE! No shame in knowing the boys fought hard, with hearts on the line. Win or lose, it's the school we choose!

Congratulations to the Tigers. It's an ultimate sportsfan delight to watch a classy series played with such worthwhile opponents. Hats off to you guys.

As for the Eagles, there's always the next season. We'll tend to our broken hearts for the mean time and Team Ateneo with its formidable sixth man will be back. With greater hearts, greater passion. We believe!

Got a second?

2006-09-25T10:05:00.000+08:00

Just when the yellow side of the big dome erupted in ultimate celebratory mode, with a second left on the clock, the sea of blue and white fell silent and all together whispered prayers for a miracle.

God answered roughly eight thousand prayers all barely under a second in Araneta that Sunday night. He made grown men laugh and cry at the same time. Miracles...they happen.

All heart! Go Ateneo!

What the....? moment

2006-09-22T16:47:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: If you're such a prude or lack a certain kind of imagination, skip this one. Won't do any of us any good. No, if any question arises, i will not explain further.

Ever sliced a hot frankfurter with cheese with a fork lately? Well, i did, just now and have to share with the world that i've just had the heartiest laugh i did in my 23 years on earth.

If you've ever been in this situation, or had even the tiniest idea of why i laughed at a seemingly trivial incident, ohhh boy, you'll catch my drift.

Ok, so that is the nastiest that i'll ever get to be in this blog.

Spoke too soon? Hope not. Hehehe.

Forever young

2006-09-20T19:24:00.000+08:00

This was a bad memory and thank God I didn't have dejavu.

At dahil mahal kita Joyce, happy 21st birthday. May you be eternally young and live happily in denial. We're stuck forever in 2004 and just too damn happy about it. Love you biatch!

Train of thought

2006-09-19T06:52:00.000+08:00

Lutang na naman ako. But not in a good way. But getting there, I hope. Kasi naman...

Some people say na i can't live without a full plate. One of my lingering obsessions. Always ngarag, always overthinking. Kaya ngayon naghahanap ako ng pagkakaaliwan. I remember happily finishing Bust-a-move on PS1 some odd years ago. Then i found out may online version. Check this out. Hala, there goes hours of unproductive mindless fun. Basta fun, it's a killer. Feed my addictive personality ba?

To answer your question, no, you shouldn't, and no, i think you won't. God always has plans. Di ba Lord? Speaking of whom...

God answered one of my prayers yesterday. I never thought I'd say this in my lifetime but, Salamat Lord para kay Ruffa Gutierrez.

One of those things

2006-09-13T06:57:00.000+08:00

Know what? I almost believed you.

But just as the song goes, almost doesn't count.

Maybe, i'm still keeping the faith.
Putcha, napaka atenista ko talaga.
Tama siguro kapatid ko, dakilang uto-uto talaga ako. Walang kadaladala.

Calling it a Day.

2006-09-12T07:15:00.000+08:00

I remember the times when knowing these things make me cringe and die a little inside. Each time, I die a little more inside. Now I take solace in the fact that we are different people, in different places, in different times. I wish you love, dear friend.

Funny how fate can be brutal but time be your friend.

You and I, Both

2006-09-11T07:24:00.000+08:00

I'm almost always elated lately. I'm so happy it's freaking crazy, especially when I used to think this was one thing that wasn't meant for me. But ever since it's been on the table, i can't shake the possibility in my mind. He became my everything for all the right reasons. I've never been so sure of anything in my life until this came along.

Everything's a promise, but i'm keeping my end. I'm --- we're --- doing this the right way.

Check Operator Service.

2006-09-09T13:18:00.000+08:00

Got to read a friend's blog entry today. I was a little concerned and decided to send a pm.

Then friendster fucked up and lost my message.

Hehehe. Wala lang.

Puzzle pieces.

2006-09-07T19:07:00.000+08:00

Remember when you were about to leave for the States ages ago? It was the height of our spontaneous partying til we drop weekends. We don't want you to go, it's like missing a fourth of the fun, but you have to, so we understood. But we weren't gonna let you leave without at least having a little send off. We were in our lousy pambahay and we set out for coffee on a Monday night since you have a very early Tuesday flight. Just our luck, it was the night all the Starbucks in the Metro were actually closed! Akalain ba nating nagsasara ng sabay sabay ang Starbucks sa Kamaynilaan. Remember where we ended up, pambahay and all? Saan pa, edi sa suburbia! I don't remember who was playing that night, probably didn't care either. I don't remember if we drank that night, but we were happy/sad. We just knew we aren't gonna let you leave without realizing you have peeps to come back to. (Shiyet, naiiyak ako...) So Just, just remember, even though it breaks my heart to remember that we weren't there the last time to see you off, you took pieces of us the first time you went, and we don't want it back (",). You're never alone, ok. Come home, we're counting the days. Happy birthday!

At nakapambahay talaga tayo that night.

Later

2006-09-06T07:11:00.000+08:00

There is an extremely emo post just sitting in my blogger dashboard that i don't have the guts to finish, let alone publish. And what do i do? Just let it sit there, stare at my chicken self like i do with so many things that scares the heck out of me. It's like my Veronika decides to die episode, only this time, I wrote it. Talk about masochism. Damnit!

Later. Maybe later. Hopefully later.